An Unwilling Pain

Recently, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  What a pain – quite literally.  My syndrome is marked by non-specific, random and chronic pain, extreme fatigue, and insomnia.  Each of these symptoms feeds and exaserbates the others.  I can’t sleep because I hurt, I hurt because I don’t get enough sleep.  I am seeing a very good doctor who is trying to find the correct cocktail of medications to ease my symptoms.  I feel like we are getting closer, but we are still not quite there. 

There is hope every morning that the day will be a good day – minimal pain, activities that don’t end with me in bed for two days.  More days than not, the sun goes down on me exhausted but unable to sleep.  I do take naps now, since sleeping during the day is easier on me and it doesn’t seem to affect my ability to sleep at night.

The good thing is that knitting and spinning are good activities for me.  They are slow and repetitive, but do not require a lot of physical exertion.  They are easy to start or stop as needed.  And they make me happy.  So I believe I will keep knitting and spinning when I feel good, when I feel bad, when I feel like laughing or crying.  I will make things that are soft and warm and give me happiness.  And I will hope and pray that I can do this for many years.

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