In more ways than one, I am sensitive. Generally, I am not emotionally sensitive – I don’t get offended by offensive jokes, I can be the butt of a joke, I can (most of the time) take criticism constructively. But let’s talk about how I am sensitive.
Movies. Movies kill me. I cry through them just knowing the direction they are heading. Like The Imitation Game. Bawling. Monument’s Men. Tears streaming down my face. I tuned in to the most recent version of Jane Eyre on HBO about half way through and spent the rest of the movie sobbing. I cry at almost every Sherlock episode – like when he is such an ass to Molly about the Christmas present. Oh, the tears. I was choking up last night watching Frontline about the immunization battle. Really? How much crying can one person do?
Personal space. I need a bubble. I don’t want to get to close to people. Or, more accurately, I don’t want people to get to close to me. If I like you, I will put you into my personal space. But don’t you just go there by yourself. It’ll full on piss me of. I even told my mother-in-law once that she cannot hug me. Ever. When I had babies I tried nursing, but when it didn’t take, I was grateful. Because then I could have my body and my space back. Isn’t that terrible?
But the way I am very sensitive is to people. I have done a very good job as an adult of surrounding myself with very, very good people. I remember when I started this mature choice of friends. I was in my last year of high school and I decided that some of my friends were not people who really supported me and liked me for who I was. Some were mocking, rude, and soul-sucking drama queens. So I changed friends. I bring this up because one of these new and better friends and I have recently been in contact. And my heart is hurting for him. He is in a better place now than he used to be, I know that. But the path he is on is not the one that I envisioned for him. It is still a hard road. So many people should be benefitting from his calling to the ministry that recent events have caused him to abandon. But instead, he works as a bank teller. Because he is gay. I don’t understand organized religions and their treatment of entire groups of our population.
And now, the son has a friend in high school who is coming out. I recognized this in the friend earlier than my son. And I sat down with him and discussed what was ahead. For both him and his friend. And I made it clear to him that homosexuality is not contagious, is not bad, is not wrong, and is not a lifestyle choice. I also made it clear that as a friend of this boy, it is his job to be sensitive, to be open-minded, to not abandon this friend. Because when you make a choice to surround yourself with good people who love you and accept you for who you are, your obligation is to be that kind of friend in return. Sensitive to the needs of others.
To all of my friends: I love and accept each of you for who you are. And I will always be here for you. Always.
Today’s drawing is from http://tanglepatterns.com/2012/09/tanglepatterns-string-019.html I really, really like this one. I started to understand that going outside of the lines is okay.