If you asked me to define myself, my greatest role and self-definition is that of being a mother. Once, someone told me that when you die, it will not say on your tombstone “She was a good employee.” I have tried to separate how I define what I do to make money and what I do with my life. And so the State of My Year (in response to the Daily Prompt “State of Your Year.” ) will include only this about my employment status: I got a job which I started in March. It is a job and I do feel I will be helping people. But mostly the State of my Year is about my kids.
The Boy has grown so much in the first 5 months of the year. Today is the last day of his junior year of high school. This past weekend, some of his best friends graduated. He is rapidly approaching adulthood and is really seeing for the first time how the choices that he is making now may affect him for the rest of his life. Visiting colleges with him, he finally understands what the Husband and I have been telling him – his grade point average equals money for college. And college then turns into his path for adulthood. He has been much more aware of his grades this semester and has been working very hard. I am very proud of this. There have been some areas of pain and sadness for me – he has decided he is an atheist and does not believe we should force him to attend church with us. He still does not want to participate in family activities. I hope and pray for a future with this child coming around at some point and wanting to be a part of the family.
A1 has blossomed into a beautiful young woman. She is as successful in high school as we wanted and hoped her to be. She has made new friends and is participating in new and different activities. Last night, we had the end of the season banquet for her swimming season where she was recognized for being a leader on the team. She received a varsity letter and was recognized as being part of 3 relay teams that broke school records. As she is only a freshman, there are great things in her future. I feel like I was such a better parent to her than the Boy, though I don’t know what I did differently. Maybe it is just that they are, in the end, two different people.
A2 just finished 5th grade and will be moving on to middle school. She is a funny, lively, amazing girl. She has grown up, up, up since the beginning of the year. Probably close to five inches. This age is such a time of growth and learning. Somewhere between childhood and teenager – so difficult. And to have two siblings in high school who want nothing to do with her, I feel for her. She is so active, always outside working on cars, in the garden, or inside cooking, crafting or building something. She is a bit of an enigma to me. At this age, with the Boy and A1, I could see into their futures and I was pretty accurate. But I don’t know what the next few years hold for this one. I will just have to watch and be there for her.
As for my state of the year – I am watching my children grow. I am making plans for my future, thinking about starting a crafting business on the side of my technical job. I am also looking forward at the aging of my parents and my in-laws. I am trying to prepare myself for their declines in health and what that will mean for the Husband and I. And my own brother I have somehow become a counselor for and because of his lack of maturity, I have taken over parenting his daughter and grand-parenting his granddaughter. Thus far, I will give 2015 a thumb’s up. But we’re not even half way through!
Today’s drawing: http://tanglepatterns.com/2012/12/tanglepatterns-string-030.html This gets a ‘meh’. Not the worst, not the best.