I have an issue. Maybe several. I forget to do things. Not just the little things like picking up my shoes, but big stuff. Things that are on my list right now include paying the trash bill which is probably overdue and leaves me hoping that the trash and recycling get picked up today, registering and getting a license plate for a new car we bought in May whose temporary plate has expired, and confirming my son’s registration for Driver’s Ed for this Saturday. I don’t know why I do this. These are things that should be easy to get done and I just don’t do them. The husband gets so angry at me. I understand why. But it just doesn’t help. I don’t do the things I should. I even make lists of things to do and don’t do those I don’t want to.
I do it with little things too. Food burns while I am spinning or knitting because I have completely forgotten about it. Laundry goes sour in the washer because I feel like I am done with laundry. Then next time I feel like doing laundry, I have to start by rewashing the load in the washer. I start a bunch of things I never finish. My kids don’t think I am reliable all of the time. This is the part of my personal irresponsibility that hurts the most. They don’t see me as a mother who keeps her promises.
A lot of this has to do with Fibromyalgia. I hate to make excuses, but when it comes to my kids and my husband, I forget what we talked about yesterday. I have horrible pain one day that prevents me from going to the store. All I can do some nights after I get home from work is crawl into my bed and sleep until the next day. Right now, I am in one of these phases. Work is taking all of my energy to get through. My pain levels are very high and I am unable to concentrate. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I know I have an appointment with my rheumatologist coming up. The thing is, that before I started this job, I was sleeping well, had good energy, and my pain levels were very low. Do we blame the weather pattern we are stuck in, me drinking a couple of beers over the weekend, the job? All of it? It’s hell, you know. And I can’t fix it.
Something I have mentioned in passing in my recent posts has been Fibromyalgia. I haven’t done a lot of complaining or whining or explanation of the what’s, why’s and how’s of my Fibro journey. And I am not going to today. What I am going to do is celebrate some of the changes I have made and their effects on how I feel. But first a couple of song lyrics because of the title of this blog post.
It’s so nice to meet an old friend and pass the time of day
And talk about the home town a million miles away
Is the ice still on the river, are the old folks still the same
And by the way, did she mention my name
Did she mention my name just in passing
Gordon Lightfoot – Did She Mention My Name
Now I have this song stuck in my head. Great. Anyway… This is how I feel right now about Fibromyalgia. For the last 2 years, every day has centered around Fibro – the pain, the exhaustion, the brain fog. In the past 6 months or so, I had dabbled in going gluten free in my diet, having heard that it may have some effect. And just after the beginning of the year, I was encouraged by some friends to try their diet plan. It is called Yoli and is based on balancing the alkalinity in your body and then eating a high protein, low carb diet supplemented by their patented protein shakes, energy/metabolism boosting drinks, and dietary supplement capsules. It is gluten free and mostly sugar free (natural sugars). Now, I am not one for paying a lot of money for a diet, but this one was rumored to help with Fibro symptoms. And if it could help those symptoms then the results would be priceless.
So, two months in, the results are priceless. Absolutely and unbelievably priceless. I am almost completely pain free. I don’t sleep all day. I have energy to do things (in moderation). I can bend and move in ways I haven’t for years. I don’t need two cups of coffee every morning to wake up. And I have lost 15 pounds in 2 months. My face is slimmer, my double chin is gone, I have a waist again. My jeans are sagging and I can get them off without unbuttoning them if I want.
Today, I am celebrating this success. I am going to fill out paperwork to start a new job. I am going to go meet with friends from an old job to keep in touch. I am going to do things that healthy, normal people do. And I am going to celebrate feeling like a healthy/normal person. Maybe in a few months I will stop the daily Yoli plan and go into maintenance. I want to hit my target weight first. And then maybe, just maybe I will be a healthy/normal person. Every day. And I can then mention Fibro in passing… a memory of an old acquaintance that was once more than that.
The last few days have been rough at home. I had sick kids, lots of cleaning to do, and a routine dental cleaning that sent me into a full fibro-flare. For those of you unfamiliar, a flare is horrible. For me, it is pain in every cell of my body. And it won’t go away until it wants to. Thankfully, this one was able to be knocked out with a combination of some prescription medication and lots of sleep. It has left me with a seriously hungover feeling for a couple of days. But today, I woke up with some energy and it feels like my brain may be back. Woo Hoo!!
Between my last post and now, I have accomplished a couple of things. I finished this amazing cowl/poncho pattern by Laura Aylor called Outlier. Here is a link to the pattern: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/outlier Laura was wonderful to all of us in our Rav group who were working on the pattern during and after her Mystery Knit-a-Long and I can’t say enough good things about her or the pattern. She is definitely one of the designers that makes it easy to pay for individual patterns!! Enough, so a photo of mine:
This is so comfortable and the pattern is true genius. I can see making many more of these as gifts and having them go over gloriously!
Today’s drawing of the day is String 004 from tanglepatterns.com . I like this one relatively well. It is one where I learned that it is okay to go outside of the lines of the string, but I think I just put too much in there. And it is a little off balance. Lessons that have to be learned, right? And here is the link to today’s string: http://tanglepatterns.com/2012/06/tanglepatterns-string-004.html I hope some of you who have never tried to draw do try this! It is so meditative and much easier than you think!
Thanks for reading and clicking on those links. There are some fabulous people behind them. Have a great weekend and as always, please let me know what you think! I really want to hear what you have to say.