I have an issue. Maybe several. I forget to do things. Not just the little things like picking up my shoes, but big stuff. Things that are on my list right now include paying the trash bill which is probably overdue and leaves me hoping that the trash and recycling get picked up today, registering and getting a license plate for a new car we bought in May whose temporary plate has expired, and confirming my son’s registration for Driver’s Ed for this Saturday. I don’t know why I do this. These are things that should be easy to get done and I just don’t do them. The husband gets so angry at me. I understand why. But it just doesn’t help. I don’t do the things I should. I even make lists of things to do and don’t do those I don’t want to.
I do it with little things too. Food burns while I am spinning or knitting because I have completely forgotten about it. Laundry goes sour in the washer because I feel like I am done with laundry. Then next time I feel like doing laundry, I have to start by rewashing the load in the washer. I start a bunch of things I never finish. My kids don’t think I am reliable all of the time. This is the part of my personal irresponsibility that hurts the most. They don’t see me as a mother who keeps her promises.
A lot of this has to do with Fibromyalgia. I hate to make excuses, but when it comes to my kids and my husband, I forget what we talked about yesterday. I have horrible pain one day that prevents me from going to the store. All I can do some nights after I get home from work is crawl into my bed and sleep until the next day. Right now, I am in one of these phases. Work is taking all of my energy to get through. My pain levels are very high and I am unable to concentrate. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I know I have an appointment with my rheumatologist coming up. The thing is, that before I started this job, I was sleeping well, had good energy, and my pain levels were very low. Do we blame the weather pattern we are stuck in, me drinking a couple of beers over the weekend, the job? All of it? It’s hell, you know. And I can’t fix it.
Today’s drawing is tanglepatterns.com String 033 – http://tanglepatterns.com/2012/12/tanglepatterns-string-033.html